I’ve started to have the wedding dreams already.
In this dream, I woke up one morning and called my mom. I told her that I wanted to get married TODAY! The dream is snip its of me gathering the wedding party and getting them in makeshift outfits that we pick up along the way to the church as we rode through L.A. in a white limo.
We pick up my mom at some point and she had a wedding dress that she got for me because my actual dress that I picked out wasn’t ready yet. Next she tells me that the band and caterer that I originally booked can’t do the wedding that day. And that’s when I started to second guess this decision to get married in a hurry.
We get to the church, which looks a lot like the lobby of the Opryland hotel and I peer inside. There is my wedding party and maybe one third of the guests we invited (which is fine by me, but that’s another blog post). Everyone is scrambling around and no one knows what to do. It is at that moment that I KNOW this isn’t the right thing. This isn’t my wedding, this is something thrown together out of fear and/or impatience.
In the dream, I ask my mom what day it is and she informs me that it is April 1st. Relieved, I tell her to go in and inform the wedding party and guests, APRIL FOOLS no wedding today! And somehow this would be okay with everyone. I woke up from the dream like it was one of those you-have-to-cut-the-wires-on-a-bomb-to-disable-it dreams. The kind that you shoot out of bed from and have to calm down your breathing.
I’m not sure what this means. Maybe subconsciously I was wishing the whole process was over but then the other side of my brain intervened at the last minutes and was like “No! No! Stop! You want a wedding and you’ve already done most of the work. Just wait it out”. I don’t know if this is a metaphor for my relationship or just the first in a series of wedding panic dreams.
I imagine it has something to do with my constant worry about the amount of change that has happened in the last 6 months. Or it could be that I’m just really excited to become a wife.
Or it could be the garlic bread I ate before bed.